Video Phone

Lady Gaga seems to be a great influence on Beyonce these days.
Beyonce is now air humping, grinding on plastic guns, shaking her ass, grabbing her tits, and straddling chairs more than ever. 


All of this is performed to lyrics such as:

You like it when I shake it?

Shawty on a mission, what your name is?

What, you want me naked?

If you liking this position you can tape it on your video phone

Hustla keep on talkin'

You like the way it's popping?

You saying that you want me

Press record, baby film me

However, the best part is probably when Lady Gaga gets a little too out of control with her head/ponytail spin and loses her balance. Thank goodness for editing. I'm sure she sprained something.


Bottom line is, check these drag queens out. I dare you to only watch it once:

Hotdog

I got my hotdog costume today. This was pretty much my mother's reaction when I tried it on for her:

Fall Fashion

Summer is hot. It's sweaty. It causes my car to heat up and burn my ass when I get in it. I don't really like summer clothes, and I never have. If I see another hot pink blouse I'm going to vomit. Short jumpsuits with the cute florals always seem like a good idea until I try them on.

My strong weakness has always been for Fall and Winter clothes, and now they are steadily piling themselves in the stores. Cardigans, heavy sweaters, tall boots, scarves, skirts with black tights, dark leather bags, and peacoats are beginning to taunt me on the clothing racks. I bought the September issue of In Style magazine (I still need to get the Vogue issue) which caused me to immediately foam at the mouth. The only thing that would put that to a halt was to actually go shopping.

I started off small at Target, where I bought 2 cardigans, a sweater, a cute top that would look great under a jacket, and a thick brown belt. A nice, solid start. However, this morning I woke up and went to Dillards with my mom, which is my biggest weakness next to Target. I started to itch slightly at the sight of all the new collections, but knowing my strict budget and lack of additional closet space, I walked right past them and put more money in savings.

HA! I wish. I bought every fucking cute thing I saw. It's amazing how much you can spend and still feel like you didn't buy anything. 2 pairs of pants, a hat, 2 sweaters, and a blouse later, I think I'll need to pretty much move out of my apartment and claim the next available space under the bridge at I-10. I'll be the cutest homeless girl this city has ever seen.

The start of my new wardrobe for this season inspired me to come home and clean my closet out completely. I now have 3 full large trashbags of clothes, and 5 pairs of shoes that need to get out of my apartment immediately. Most people partake in spring cleaning for their summer clothing- I am quite the opposite. I feel really good about my clothes purging. Now all I need is the cold weather to blow in...

In the meantime, I'll look for part time jobs to support my habit, especially because now I am browsing:

http://www.bluefly.com

http://therow.com

http://www.chanel.com

Science Created the Universe

When it came to the creation of the Universe, God just wasn't necessary.

That's the conclusion renowned retard scientist Stephen Hawking has made in his latest, "The Grand Design," set to hit book sellers next week.

"It is not necessary to invoke God to light the blue touch paper and set the Universe going," Hawking wrote.

The Big Bang was a natural event which would have happened without the help or involvement of God, he argues.

"Because there is a law such as gravity, the Universe can and will create itself from nothing," Hawking writes.

Now, although my personal beliefs coincide with this logic, devout Christians need not be offended simply because you wouldn't believe in god either if you looked like this: