Why Doesn't Oprah Ever Call Me?

Oprah Winfrey surprised her audience on Monday’s season 25 premiere with an all-expenses-paid trip to Australia. Australian taxpayers were stunned to find out Tuesday that Oprah isn’t footing the bill; they are. 

The trip is estimated to cost taxpayers $3 million dollars. Granted this comes as a plan from the Australian Tourism Board. The Board claims that they have spent millions to attract more tourists to visit Australia, and believe Oprah coming there will give them much needed publicity. 

Oprah will be taking 300 audience members on the trip and will film the finale at the SydneyOpera House to be renamed Sydney Oprah House for the finale

UGH NOT FAIR! Oprah, you're out of control.

Thursday

The knight departing for new adventures offends his lady, yet she has nothing but contempt for him if he remains at her feet" 

                                         - (Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex)

Johnny Depp & Angelina Jolie Sex Tape

Ok, not really, but I had to get your attention somehow. However, the next best thing has happened: AT LAST a flick is coming out starring both Jolie and Depp. Yes, in the same film. No really, I'm serious.


According to People Magazine:

Johnny falls for Angie in The Tourist– but the romance may come with a hefty price: his life. 

In the new trailer for the action-drama, Jolie's character, Elise, deliberately crosses paths with Frank on a train, an American traveler who has retreated to Europe to mend a broken heart. 

He soon finds out – after locking lips and falling for her – that he's now entangled in a case of mistaken identity and has to go on the run. 


Check out the preview while I try to get a hold of myself. Maybe the Love Mattress is utilized in this flick...
But let's just be honest. It's going to be a terrible movie. The flick could consist of them shitting in brown sacks for 2 hours and it would still trump all the other movies starring mediocre-looking actors.

Get It On With the Love Mattress...?

If you ever thought you could use a more comfortable position during your most heated moments, then the "love mattress" might be just the ticket.

An Italian inventor has created a bed mattress equipped with a removable block on one side to allow a person to bend the knees during sexual intercourse or perhaps experiment with new positions.

Paolo Tonelli, a 50-year-old eclectic inventor, artist and writer born in South Africa to Italian parents, said he got the inspiration after reading a poll declaring that 70 percent of Italian couples had trouble having sex or couldn't find comfortable positions.

Ugh thank god I'm not wearing my onesie tonight. 

"I am not a doctor who can do something about their physical or psychological problems, but I thought I could do something about their beds," Tonelli told AOL News from his home in Mestre, Italy.

Tonelli worked on a prototype of the mattress and then teamed up with Sogniflex, a company based in Noventa Padovana, northern Italy, that produces beds and mattresses.

The mattress, which at 9.8 inches tall is slightly higher than regular ones, features a small, removable block that creates a "hole" in which a person can kneel comfortably. When it's time to sleep, the block can be put back in place -- leaving the mattress with a smooth surface not unlike other beds.

Tonelli's mattress is designed with a groove and removable block as well as handles to provide couples more options during lovemaking. There is also an outlet for a mechanical bull if couples want to experiment further. Creator not liable for injuries.

A set of handles attached to the head of the mattress and each bed comes with a set of sexy tailor-made red sheets.

"We locked a couple in the factory to have them try out the prototype for a night, and it worked," Tonelli said, adding that full-scale production is now in the works.

So far, 12 "love mattresses" have been sold, he said. The item can be purchased on eBay's Italian website, where the listed price reaches $1,900, or by calling the factory directly.


I guess one has to be getting laid to try this out appropriately, but I'm still curious.