Bird Fetish

I've been painting a lot lately. It feels good.

But it puts me in a weird mood. I feel that the happiness I get from painting is a different kind of happiness... a dark happiness... despite the fact if I were to even paint something happy. I guess I have to get to that "place" mentally.

I have posted the latest in my art gallery.


I really appreciate those of you that encourage my creativity, despite the fact that most of my paintings wouldn't hold a candle to a 5th grader's talent.
Maybe I'll hang a sketch on my refrigerator so I feel accomplished.

How to Flirt to Get Ahead in Your Career

A friend of mine sent me this article (shout-out to Catie!), and reading it pretty much started my day off on the exact point I was hoping for. Just when we all find ourselves easily getting sucked into constant career/life advice from overworked and underpaid internet writers (sounds familiar), a gem appears to realign our idea of true reality. As a hardworking business woman in corporate America, I am the first to admit that I indeed work for “the man” (or several), and “the man” is not always nice, nor the easiest to please.
 
However, thanks to all higher beings for publishing this writer, who explains that I really don’t have to use my intellect whatsoever to be a successful woman; rather, a little T&A will get me to places that I never would have been capable of before! Thank you, FEMALE WRITER, for perpetually encouraging all the retards with XX chromosomes out there to never apply themselves to anything other than resting their tits on tables, caking on too much bronzer, and fake laughing at men’s unfunny jokes. I have decided to add some additional commentary to further emphasize these valuable points. Enjoy!

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Flirting is a basic and fundamental form of social interaction that, despite the best efforts of managers and policy makers, is a daily part of most work environments. People flirt at work to find love, to get promotions, to pass the time, and sometimes because they just can't help themselves. At best, it's an innocent way to build positive relationships and have fun with coworkers, but at worst it's an unwelcome and offensive means of making people feel uncomfortable and harassed, but this usually only happens if you’re ugly.

But science shows that when done right flirting can raise self-esteem, boost energy levels, and even improve job satisfaction; so whether you're looking to land a big promotion or find true love, we have tips to help make it happen.

 

How to flirt to get ahead in your career

 

Flirting effectively in a professional environment really amounts to mastering the art of making people feel connected and good about themselves without crossing the line to something much more personal. Here are a few key secrets of professional flirting courtesy of Forbes.

• Smile and make eye contact to show that you're engaged and interested in what the other person is saying. Just keep nodding your head and look interested while you’re really picturing each other naked.
• Build positive rapport by making light jokes and having an overall cheerful, friendly, and open demeanor. Remember ladies: open legs = open demeanor
• Ask colleagues personal but career-related questions, like how they got into the industry or whether they've ever dealt with a particular challenge, to help you feel closer. For example, “how did you manage to get promoted and still experience erectile dysfunction at the same time? Is there anything I can do to ensure that ‘problem’ never surfaces again?”
• Flatter by complimenting successful projects, ideas, and even clothes or hair as long as you genuinely mean it. Be careful not to "play favorites" or lay it on so thick it seems insincere. For example, “I love your new haircut, Ned. It totally makes your dong look 5 inches bigger”
• Touch sparingly on the lower arm or hand to emphasize a point and connect. All other touching should only happen after lunch or in the vacant office downstairs.
• Put your best self forward and show that you're a confident professional by wearing stylish and fitted (not tight) clothes that flatter your figure but don't show too much skin. Rule of thumb: areola is acceptable; entire nipple is slutty.

 

Office romances: Tricky territory

 

Put a group of people together for eight hours a day five days a week, and attractions are bound to spring up. Get it? Office romance is a tricky thing, though, and how you handle it can affect not only your personal life but also your professional reputation and livelihood. According to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, employers are seeing an uptick in lawsuits from workers who claim they were fired in order to head off a possible discrimination case. Now when you say “head off,” do you really mean…. The litigious environment is making many companies extra cautious about workplace relationships, which is why most companies now provide free condoms in the break room.

If you do choose to pursue an office relationship, be sure to educate yourself on your company's HR policies first, keep your behavior professional at all times, and keep any romantic flirtation strictly outside the office. This is all safe talk that really means, always be extra nice to your boss’ wife.

 

Absolute workplace flirting nos nos

• Don't make people uncomfortable. If the other party is not reciprocating or the flirting feels awkward, abort mission immediately.
• Don't use touch too frequently or anywhere other than on the lower arm or hand before lunch.
• Don't dress provocatively or push the limits of professionalism by wearing clothes that are too tight, too high, or too low-cut if you want to keep your shitty salary. And keep makeup subdued and traditionally sexy fashion statements (like animal print) to small accessories only (i.e. thongs, garters, etc.).
• Don't behave seductively (licking your lips, looking people up and down, bending over, etc.) unless there is a minimum of three watching you at once. This will give them a bonding experience after you have walked away.
• Don't target specific individuals for frequent compliments or attention. Instead, make them compliment you by following the above pointers.
• Never flirt in writing, over e-mail or IM (it's never really completely deleted). Instead, photocopy your ass and slip it into a report that you deliver to your boss yourself.

 

The September Issue

Have you seen it? It is SO GOOD, especially if you enjoy documentaries as much as I do. I remember going to a little movie theater in Dallas by myself about a year and a half ago (wow, I have been in Houston officially for a year) to see it, and no one was there. It only aired in about 5 cities across the U.S., and of course Dallas was one of them, and definitely the only one in Texas. I think that’s why every time I mention it to someone in Houston that they have no idea what I am talking about.

Everyone knows that in fashion, Fall is everything. As stated in the documentary, the month of September is basically the January of fashion. It’s a time to reinvent ourselves, where all of the new looks boldly make their debuts down the runway, and when everyone goes back to school shopping. The September issue of Vogue (and now many other magazines that have followed in their footsteps) is always the largest and most intense issue of the year. If you couldn’t make the connection by now, The September Issue captures every step of the way in designing and editing the coveted magazine, led by editor-in-chief Anna Wintour.


Still doesn’t ring a bell? She is the chick that everyone said The Devil Wears Prada was about (and no, not Anne Hathaway- Meryl Streep). While I expected nothing but a cold-hard bitch throughout the film, Anna actually does smile, but it is quite evident that you don’t want to cross her path, and she dare not waste her time with anyone that is of no importance to her.

A picture of Anna, but it’s a really good one. Prolly 10 years old.

Anna has even scared her daughter away from the fashion industry, and states directly that her family finds what she does to be “quite amusing.” However, in my opinion, fierce red-head and Vogue’s creative director Grace Coddington steals the show, hands down. While the first couple of glances of her perplexed me greatly in how she would ever work at Vogue looking like such a hot mess, the documentary later reveals that she used to model (and wow was she beautiful) but then got into a car crash and had to have a lot of reconstructive surgeries on her eye. I loved her even more because she was the only person in the film to stand up to Anna in editing decisions, though she sadly lost almost all of her battles, one resulting in her almost breaking down into tears at 60 years of age. She produced photo shoots that were so amazingly beautiful I couldn’t believe it – I would have cried too. She is truly truly and artist and is someone that I would lock in a room if I knew her so I could hear her stories all day. Added bonus: she’s hilarious, which seems to be a rarity in that crowd.

Good ole Grace

Bottom Line: If you are remotely interested in fashion, it’s a must to watch it.


http://www.theseptemberissue.com/theatrical.html



Mariah Carey is a Disaster

Jesus Christ. The debate as to whether this skank has been eating too many donuts or is pregnant (perhaps it's both) is still continuing. Either way, the bitch should NOT be wearing heels.

Watch this disaster of a performance as she falls down and then has to have an assistant come on stage and take her shoes off of her mid song. I wish her dancer would have left her on the ground- we would have been able to see if she were really pregnant or not by the way she got back up.

Wait, let's just be honest. She would have stayed down on the floor either way.

Mariah, if you're still going to make a fool of yourself, at least do it in flats to protect your baby from your clumsiness. Also, stick to laying in bed or lounging in your dream closet until the 9 months are up - your babe is likely to be more deaf than I am from you constantly squealing into the microphone.