Johnny Depp & Angelina Jolie Sex Tape

Ok, not really, but I had to get your attention somehow. However, the next best thing has happened: AT LAST a flick is coming out starring both Jolie and Depp. Yes, in the same film. No really, I'm serious.


According to People Magazine:

Johnny falls for Angie in The Tourist– but the romance may come with a hefty price: his life. 

In the new trailer for the action-drama, Jolie's character, Elise, deliberately crosses paths with Frank on a train, an American traveler who has retreated to Europe to mend a broken heart. 

He soon finds out – after locking lips and falling for her – that he's now entangled in a case of mistaken identity and has to go on the run. 


Check out the preview while I try to get a hold of myself. Maybe the Love Mattress is utilized in this flick...
But let's just be honest. It's going to be a terrible movie. The flick could consist of them shitting in brown sacks for 2 hours and it would still trump all the other movies starring mediocre-looking actors.