Perhaps it's to do with my lack of a rail thin figure with huge tits, but sometimes I dread showing up to a party where girls come up with every excuse they can to have their labia hanging out.
White panties and white bra with wings = I'm an angel!
Black panties and black bra with wings = I'm a hell's angel!
Red Panties and red bra with tail = I'm the devil!
Brown Panties and brown bra with toolbelt = I'm a construction worker!
Blue panties and blue bra with a hat = I'm a sailor!
Yellow panties and yellow bra = I'm a piece of popcorn!
Get the idea?
And it's not like I can blame these gals- if I had a killer bod I'd absolutely just go naked and say "I'm a cavewoman!"....but that is simply not the case. Despite my several years of trying to be a sexy lion, boxer, Tom Cruise in Risky Business (a night of drinking everclear while only wearing a shirt and men's underwear can be pretty horrendous-- summersaults in a bar, anyone?), and whatever the hell else my group of friends and I decided on, it only ended in an absolute hot mess. Ripped panty hose, uncomfortable wedgies, burning my clothes in bonfires, pictures with my left boob hanging out, etc. all lead to no good.
I think I might take a different route this year. The frontrunner? Take a look at this beauty:
I'll spare you the theme song, but I will absolutely be doing the dance all night.
Guess I should start practicing!
Other options that I am seriously considering include:
You look like you like mustard...did I mention I was a vegetarian?
Byyyeeee Buddy!
You're drrrrrrrrruuunnkkkk!
Not sure I could master the accent. Especially after a few beers.
Cruella De-Vil. Amazing.
Any sexy single men out there that want to take a Jabba the Hutt home?
I'm pretty overwhelmed by the plethora of amazing options...
I vote the six flags old man, cruella or buddy the elf.
ReplyDelete