Nothing is better than meeting a new client, co-worker, mentor, etc. and hitting it off immediately. With so many assholes out there, it's few and far between to meet someone that you really respect and get along with in corporate america. And when they have a sense of humor? Icing on the cake!
You exchange contact information, smiles, and one liners as the meeting comes to a close, and just before you part your separate ways, it's time to give the final seal of a new bond- the handshake. And what you had been thinking was a great thing all along suddenly becomes a huge shit on your face, because you realize that the moment you shake hands, his/her sweaty palms and hairy-knuckled fingers feel like disgusting limp noodles. Gross, dude. I really thought you had potential. Now you're just another douche like the rest of them. Have a great weekend being a pussy. Now every time I see you from now on I will think about how much you suck.
On the flipside, it's very distracting when you are meeting someone for the first time and they display a pathetic handshake before any further discussion commences.
"Hi, nice to meet you. I'm _____." [insert limp handshake here].
Cool, I don't even know you yet and I already hate you. I see your lips moving, but I don't really hear anything because I'm wondering how many fractured bones in your hand you have right now from my professional grip, and why no one has ever told you to man up.
If it's a guy: Your wife clearly wears the pants in your marriage. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but it's probably to the point to where you have to ask permission to take the checkbook to the store.
If it's a female: You are the reason women get lower salary rates in the business world. Stick around, though, because you'll be a great stepping stone for me by the time promotions roll around.
A firm, solid handshake signifies confidence, dignity, professionalism, success.
Don't be an asshole with a limp handshake- I'll never take you seriously.
Plus, it's just gross.
I love reading your blog. You are such an incredibly, talented writer. You have always had the ability to make your words come to life. Love ya!
ReplyDeletesteph